If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
