do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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