You were right. It hurts to walk today.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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