She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
