Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
