Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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