just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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