I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
