I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
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