Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
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I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I need to calm my uterus...
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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