At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
