two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
sex in a hospital.. check
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
