Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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