So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
