He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
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Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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