As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
