from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
All the doctor said was why
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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