Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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