I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
