Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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