I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
And then he peed in my hair
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