Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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