Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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