pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
it's like heaven, but drunker
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
