I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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