This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
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Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
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There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
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