Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Randomize
