Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
