I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
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he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
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I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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