addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize