We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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