I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
