Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
