I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
