I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
