what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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