And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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