It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You ruined the universe
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
