The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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