no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
