if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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