I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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