My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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