I could have mohawked her pubes.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
