mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.