Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.