omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
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His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
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I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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