i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
