shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
