I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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