is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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