Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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