I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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