i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
