note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
