I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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