Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize