I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
